This is a story of many many black african women (not just Zulu girls). Sadly we have judged, labelled, whispered, gossiped about, condemed, shamed and scorned those who live long enough to tell their story or those who came back home either just about to die, or already dead. Worse is we have assumed they come from poor backgrounds, assumed they were not raised well. I am from KZN grew up in the rural parts of KZN, grew up shielded from a lot of reality really as I spent my entire youth in a catholic girls boarding school. I am a young adult who has been lucky to be working closely with the youth in various lifeskills and development projects, so have been exposed to a lot of things. I hope we take more out of this story, to me this is not a blog. this is reality we deal with daily… fascinating, intriguinging,captivating blog we say ” Truth is we know someone, a friend, a sister, a mother, an aunt, brother, father, uncle who lives ngalendlela and half the time we look away and pretend akwenzeki worse is when the Jozi queens get home we bask in the glory, take the money and never really ever wonder or bother to probe any further, some would loudly say “I would rather not know” Kids these days are smart and they are vocal and they ask a lot of questions, when they do they get such a toungue lash they back off with tail between their legs. Are we telling our kids the truth about what really happens out there?????? are we equiping them enough to be able to handle such instances????? Are we open enough fto them to allow them to come to mum and dad, with anything and everything??? Do we think choosing a different city will mean they are safe from such instances??? who says this only happens in Johannesburg????
” I am happy in a way that this Blog has had such a positive response, Id encourage every parent to get their teens to read this as well. Loko ngikushiswa ukuthi “when I mentioned being shielded, I meant sometimes abazali think the best thing is to not even talk about such things, or keep them away from Johannesburg. Let me tell you something you already know “it doesnt matter where you send your kid, the fact of the matter is after shielding them for a long time. They will have to get out there, and live without you. oooooo by the way I now live and work in Johannesburg “yeah farm julia as we called from KZN, I work in the big bad bad city as everyone calls it. Have seen the horrors upclose. All I can say to umzali is “what made the difference for me, is not having i fear to share with umzali what I see and experience daily. I know she gets scared for me but she listens always and is always interested in how I feel, what I thought and what I plan to do about it. Doesnt mean she is always right, as uThandeka says…. I know she is THERE I do not doubt for a second that GOOD OR BAD, EMBARRASSING OR SHAMEFULL I WILL ALWAYS SHARE EVERYTHING I GO THROUGH. (BE IT BEING THROWN IN JAIL FOR BEING AT THE RIGHT PLACE AT A WRONG TIME)… sadly not every person has that kind of relationship with their parents. I wish everyone did, I believe it makes a difference….
Another observation, is types of programmes targeted at helping the youth cope with such challanges, get either little or no support.
We have a lot of work to do mzansi a lot.